Prom... Again
So this weekend, I went to another prom, I think it is officially the 5th prom I have been to.
I wouldn't venture to brag, I am a little embarrassed by the fact that I have been to this many proms, and that I continue to go at my present age.
You would think that at some point I would say enough of the highschool stuff.
It's been said that I might continue to indulge in the oppertunities because I was homeschooled and I didn't have my own proms so now I get the chance to make up for that.
That's a little to obvious for me though.
The idea that I have to make up for lost time, or the idea that I missed out on something because my life is different than the lives of others is pretty rediculous and I am not willing to live under that banner of thought.
Michael Jackson, once known as the kind of pop claims that his unusually eccentric purchases ,schemes, homes, trips, schedule and (uh hem) "preferences" are due to the fact that he never really had a child hood. This is his reasoning for purchasing a round trip seat on a concord jet flight for a pinnochio doll which he pretended to have a conversation with and serve tea to during the flight. Maybe he is rich, but paying an extra FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLERS is sensless even if it is to recapture the innocence of childhood.
We all know that MR. Jackson went off the deep end along time ago, but it came not only from having the means, but because he indulged himself in the idea that he could not be happy without experienceing the childhood that he thoguht he should have had.
It's not an uncommon thing for people to feel like they have missed out on their childhood, and it's not all that uncommon for persons to try to re-live certain aspects of childhood that they never got the oppertunity to experience. Niether is it uncommon for people to believe that they will not be fulfilled if they do not experience certain things that they feel they missed out on.
But I contest. I feel it is very important to realize that no one does everything. Some kids work, some kids play, some kids eat some kids starve. The point of childhood is not to learn what it means to be a child, it's to prepare and learn to be an adult. As child you are often incapable of handling many situations, this is why you are in the care of other adults.
No my childhood was not like yours, and I did not do some of th things that many people feel are important parts of childhood. But I am no longer a child, and I am not interested in being a child anymore. Certainly I would like to enjoy my life and have the oppertunity to feel free and unrestricted. But when no child is that way. If they are not restricted by curfew, house rules, finances or society, they are restricted physically and emotionally despite what many people may believe.
There is no such thing as no restrictions, freedom, is learning to live optimally within certain boundries.
To believe that true freedom means yeilding to no thing and having no restrictions or responsabilities may be the strongest bondage of all.
I am not making up for lost time, I do not feel I have lost any.
I am not reliving anything.
I am experienceing a life at this point that has many boundries, but I have chosen to stay within the walls of certain boundries so that I can explore as much of this area as posible and do many things within these boundries. I imagine it as though I am a spec inside a large cup.
I continue to enjoy some silly things in life, but for the enjoyment of the as they are, not because of what I missed. A freind said "I want you to come with me, I think it will be better with you there, will you come?" So I said yes.
Maybe one day I will have exhausted these boundries... and fulfilled all that I could inside this area, at which point I might say... "My cup, runneth over!"
So this weekend, I went to another prom, I think it is officially the 5th prom I have been to.
I wouldn't venture to brag, I am a little embarrassed by the fact that I have been to this many proms, and that I continue to go at my present age.
You would think that at some point I would say enough of the highschool stuff.
It's been said that I might continue to indulge in the oppertunities because I was homeschooled and I didn't have my own proms so now I get the chance to make up for that.
That's a little to obvious for me though.
The idea that I have to make up for lost time, or the idea that I missed out on something because my life is different than the lives of others is pretty rediculous and I am not willing to live under that banner of thought.
Michael Jackson, once known as the kind of pop claims that his unusually eccentric purchases ,schemes, homes, trips, schedule and (uh hem) "preferences" are due to the fact that he never really had a child hood. This is his reasoning for purchasing a round trip seat on a concord jet flight for a pinnochio doll which he pretended to have a conversation with and serve tea to during the flight. Maybe he is rich, but paying an extra FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLERS is sensless even if it is to recapture the innocence of childhood.
We all know that MR. Jackson went off the deep end along time ago, but it came not only from having the means, but because he indulged himself in the idea that he could not be happy without experienceing the childhood that he thoguht he should have had.
It's not an uncommon thing for people to feel like they have missed out on their childhood, and it's not all that uncommon for persons to try to re-live certain aspects of childhood that they never got the oppertunity to experience. Niether is it uncommon for people to believe that they will not be fulfilled if they do not experience certain things that they feel they missed out on.
But I contest. I feel it is very important to realize that no one does everything. Some kids work, some kids play, some kids eat some kids starve. The point of childhood is not to learn what it means to be a child, it's to prepare and learn to be an adult. As child you are often incapable of handling many situations, this is why you are in the care of other adults.
No my childhood was not like yours, and I did not do some of th things that many people feel are important parts of childhood. But I am no longer a child, and I am not interested in being a child anymore. Certainly I would like to enjoy my life and have the oppertunity to feel free and unrestricted. But when no child is that way. If they are not restricted by curfew, house rules, finances or society, they are restricted physically and emotionally despite what many people may believe.
There is no such thing as no restrictions, freedom, is learning to live optimally within certain boundries.
To believe that true freedom means yeilding to no thing and having no restrictions or responsabilities may be the strongest bondage of all.
I am not making up for lost time, I do not feel I have lost any.
I am not reliving anything.
I am experienceing a life at this point that has many boundries, but I have chosen to stay within the walls of certain boundries so that I can explore as much of this area as posible and do many things within these boundries. I imagine it as though I am a spec inside a large cup.
I continue to enjoy some silly things in life, but for the enjoyment of the as they are, not because of what I missed. A freind said "I want you to come with me, I think it will be better with you there, will you come?" So I said yes.
Maybe one day I will have exhausted these boundries... and fulfilled all that I could inside this area, at which point I might say... "My cup, runneth over!"
posted by Joses at 4:39 PM
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